Wednesday, November 29, 2006

A Divine Mix

Philippians is my book right now, meaty stuff. Tonight I was meditating on 3:7-14 - we've heard these verses a million times, but the truth is so tangible it lifts the soul. Especially verse 9 & 10 for me right now.

"...Not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death..."

God is stripping me, and forcing me to live by faith. When I would much prefer to rely on "my own righteousness." When I feel like I cannot take another breath, from the crushing pain of being without my beautiful child, I have nothing but faith, nothing but Him. It is the epitome of bittersweet... Oh, how my heart aches and yet the Father is so near, a constant source of comfort and reassurance. It is not quite like anything I have ever experienced before. It is tangible. Agony and pure joy coexisting.

Though my son is so far away, my Father is so very close.

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